Beautiful Disaster
by melanie-37
Summary: Summer could only describe what happened between her and Seth as a beautiful disaster. She had never thought that anyone could mean so much to her. Ever. Contains some Ryan and Marissa too. Chapter 7 is up. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

Summer Roberts rolled over in her large cold bed. Unable to sleep she crossed her room and stood in front of her the huge window that took up most of her wall. The sky was dark. Somewhere she heard an animal. Moving slightly she caught a glimpse of the moon and sighed. She hated being alone in this dark, cold empty house. With hardly anyone at home the house liked like one of the display homes in an estate. Thinking back the house and always been chilly but her mother had somehow managed to brighten the place. Maybe it had been her personality. Sometimes Summer wondered if her mother had raised her would she had turned out different? Summer turned from the window and padded down the stairs. Picking up the phone she dialled a number and waited.  
  
Seth Cohen jolted awake by the ringing of his cell phone. Rolling over he quickly picked up the phone and held it to his ear.  
  
"Hello?  
  
His voice sounded raspy with sleep. Summer cursed herself silently. What was she doing? She forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat and talk.  
  
"Cohen it's me"  
  
"Summer? What are you doing?" He strained to look at the clock.  
  
"It's two in the morning. A man needs his beauty sleep you know" She laughed.  
  
"There is not enough beauty sleep in the world to make you look beautiful Seth"  
  
"Right. Because I'm so manly and handsome? So what's up? Why are you calling me at this hour of the night? Or morning? Not that I mind you calling cause it's always good to hear from you and –"  
  
"I couldn't sleep"  
  
"Ah yes well that explains a lot"  
  
"It should" " Well can I go back to sleep now?"  
  
"Gee thanks for being such a great, supportive boyfriend" "Honoured. Wait. Did you just say boyfriend?"  
  
Seth shifted as he waited for Summer to answer.  
  
"What do you think Cohen?"  
  
Seth didn't answer. She was always surprising him. Like when she kissed him in front of everyone and now that he was actually Summer Robert's boyfriend now.  
  
"I'm Summer Robert's boyfriend"  
  
"Well done"  
  
Seth yawned. Summer heard it and immediately felt guilty.  
  
"So I should go"  
  
Seth stifled another yawn.  
  
"What? No we haven't discussed why you called"  
  
"Go to sleep Seth. I'll see you at school tomorrow"  
  
"You know that sounds like a very good idea"  
  
Summer smiled.  
  
"Night."  
  
Seth mumbled something back in response and hung up the phone. Pulling up the covers Seth gradually went back to sleep trying to ignore the little voice that told him something was wrong with Summer.  
  
Summer pulled out a pair of fitted jeans that went perfectly with her the top she had dragged out of her closet that morning. Running down stairs she grabbed her keys, wallet and bag and ran out to her car, eager to get out of her home. Opening her glove box she fumbled for her sunglasses and hastily put them on as she reversed down the driveway. Turning the music up she grinned as she sang along to Hey Mama by the Black Eyed Peas. Stopping at a red light the car beside her slowed to a stop and of the guys in the car gave a low whistle.  
  
"Hey...where you off to?"  
  
Giving an impish grin Summer accelerated and left the boys eating her dust. She drove up the Cohen's driveway and beeped. Seth opened the door and walked out to her waiting mini jeep.  
  
"Hey," she got out of the car and pulled Seth into a hug.  
  
"Well hey...this is nice," Seth murmured patting her softly on the back. Summer pulled away and gave him a quick peck on the lips then walked around to her side of the car.  
  
"So where's Chino?" Seth threw his bag in the back seat, "Ummm...I think he's sick. I dunno cause it's not like he fakes it so he must be...well mom told him...well not told him more like forced him to stay in bed so he's not gonna be here today," he glanced at Summer to see if she had listened. Fairly often people tended to tune out when Seth was trying to explain something. Summer nodded trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She could never remember anyone forcing her to stay in bed. Because there had never been anyone around. All the housekeepers had thought she was a spoiled little princess who was too stuck up for her own good. The only employee who had ever taken the time to be nice to her was Merla. Merla with her little treats on her birthday. Merla with her warm hugs whenever Summer had a fight with a friend in school or whenever Summer's father couldn't make it to one of her school events. But Merla had her own family to look after. She had her own children. The day Merla had left Summer had felt like it was the day her mother had left all over again. Except that Summer had never witnessed her mother leave. There had been nothing left of her in the house. No perfume, no clothes no jewellery. The house still reminded everyone of Nicole Roberts. Who knew why she had left? When Summer was younger she had thought it had been her fault. Then she grew up. She became popular. Parties were thrown at her house because there were no chaperones at her house. She began to look upon as having practically no parents a good thing. But there was still a large whole in her heart. And talks of mothers and family just made that whole bigger. But Summer Roberts was strong. Stronger than that. No one needed to see what went on behind the mask. Because everyone had proved that they didn't want to know. No one cared but it didn't matter because if there was one thing that her parents divorce had taught her was that emotions of a young girl didn't matter.  
  
"So you're awfully quiet this morning," Seth's voice broke into her thoughts. Summer flinched.  
  
"Shut up and enjoy the music Cohen," Summer eased into a parking space.  
  
"You call this music? Woman we need to get you a new taste," Seth shook his head, "Music. You call talking music"  
  
"It's not talking. It's called rap. It's what normal kids these days listen to. Abnormal ones like you listen to...whatever crap you listen to," Summer replied as they both walked into the school.  
  
"But abnormal in a good way right?" Summer snorted.  
  
"You are so abnormal Cohen" She waved to some girls from her English class.  
  
"But in a good way...I'm abnormal in a good way"  
  
Summer was about to say something back to Seth when Marissa ran up to them.  
  
"Hey guys have you seen Ryan?"  
  
"Well hey there Marissa it's great to see you too. How was your morning?" Seth opened his locker to avoid Marissa's glare. She turned her eyes to Summer.  
  
"Have you seen him?" Honestly the girl looked like a desperate puppy dog. Could she get any more pathetic? Summer instantly felt guilty. What was with her conscience lately?  
  
"No Coop I haven't. He's sick"  
  
Marissa's eyes widened. "Is he ok?"  
  
"I'm sure he is," Summer glanced at Seth surprised that he had managed to stay quiet for this long. Marissa glanced at Seth who slammed his locker door shut and turned towards them.  
  
"Well bye ladies. I am off to homeroom"  
  
Summer stared after Seth puzzled. Why wasn't he saying anything?  
  
"See you at lunch!" She called after him then linked arms with Marissa who was also looking back at Seth with confusion.  
  
"Don't worry about him Coop. I'm sure Chino's fine. I mean he's still alive after all those bruises and stuff," She looked at Marissa expectantly, "He'll be fine," She repeated.  
  
Marissa nodded. She really wanted to talk to Ryan. Now that Theresa had gone maybe their relationship had a chance. She had never felt more abandoned in the past few days than she ever had in her life. At least she had Summer. The one friend who never abandoned her no matter what.  
  
"Coop you look thinner than usual. You know the freakishly skinny look went out months ago," Summer noticed as the girls sat down in their seats for homeroom.  
  
Marissa didn't answer as the teacher had walked into the room and was addressing the class. She stared ahead and blinked back tears. She knew Ryan was avoiding her. And she didn't know what to do about it. She didn't want to look desperate but she missed Ryan so much that it hurt. He had been the only sane person in Newport. He had been like a breath of fresh air to the community. The only one who ever had the courage to call on her shit. The only one who looked at her for little miss perfect but someone with no expectations. He liked her for who she was. She never had to prove herself to him. Maybe she shouldn't have told him that she loved him. I should have believed him about Oliver Marissa thought mournfully for about the millionth time. Ignoring Summer's goodbyes she walked purposefully ahead to her next class. Newport wouldn't want their reigning queen to drop her mask again. Not after her incident in Mexico.  
  
So much for whatever happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much for the reviews! Keep them coming please. Maybe then I'll get the chapters out faster.  
  
"...I mean have you seen her? She looks freakier than Catherine Zeta Jones. Like there's a zone diet gone wrong. But what would Coop diet for? She's got a perfect figure. If this is about her and Chino then seriously that kid is gonna be on the receiving end of a rage blackout. I am gonna break his ass. What do you think? Seth? Seth!"  
  
Seth followed Summer into his home trying to block out her voice. And she thinks I talk too much he thought walking into the kitchen.  
  
"SETH!"  
  
"Here Summer. I'm here and yes you'd be surprised but I was listening and no I don't want to be involved in a scheme to set Ryan and Marissa back up. It should stay between them because they are the only two people that this situation concerns," Seth took a sip of his drink and waited for Summer to answer. She glared at him and took the glass out of his hand. He cringed when she slammed the tumbler down on the countertop.  
  
"Seth Cohen grow a heart!" She shrieked, "Coop's 'situation' does affect us. Last time I checked we were her friends. And have you even looked at her lately? She's lost it! Officially! Like the Marissa Cooper I know would never come to school without covering up her bags first," Summer folded her arms and glared ate Seth triumphantly.  
  
Seth glanced at her warily then cleared his throat. He wasn't scared of her. This was his girlfriend. Come on Cohen. Use your manly powers of attraction. He opened up his mouth to speak then closed it. Yeah right.  
  
"Well I never said that we shouldn't help her. Just the stuff with her and Ryan. Like Ryan probably had a reason for what he's doing now and-" He was cut off by the crashing of Summer's mouth against his. He felt the cool metal of the fridge against his back, all thoughts of their argument completely forgotten. Summer sucked gently on his lower lip then pulled away a victorious smile spreading across her face. Seth dropped his head onto her shoulder and inhaled her perfume.  
  
"Hey that's not fair," Seth mumbled against her bare skin. She smiled again letting her hand come up and rest in his soft curly hair. She pulled his head back and used both of her hands to cup his face.  
  
"Come on. Do it for me please? We won't interfere too much. Just find out what's going on. Cause we have the right to know. We are their friends and we'll just give them a little push. I just want Coop to be happy and-"  
  
"Alright, alright. Stop rambling. You have been spending way too much time with me" Seth grumbled resting his head back on her shoulder. It was so unfair. She always won. That's pathetic Cohen he thought sorrowfully.  
  
Ryan woke up to shrieking in the kitchen. Shifting slightly he realised he had fallen asleep on the couch again. Seth and Summer were having an argument again. Shaking his head he got off the couch and waited till the voices had quieted before he got a drink of water from the kitchen. Seth and Summer were both silent as he walked in to fill his glass. Ok this was weird. He glanced at both of them out of the corner of his eye. Summer was eyeing Seth. Seth looked like he wanted to say something.  
  
"So who won?" Ryan set down his glass and looked at Seth. This was too weird. Nether of them were talking.  
  
"What?" Seth jumped out of his dreamlike state  
  
"The fight"  
  
"Me," Summer answered fixing her stare on Ryan.  
  
Ryan tensed, feeling uncomfortable beneath her gaze. Honestly the woman was dangerous. Seth however saw this as an opportunity to get away. Slinking away he was almost behind Summer when he caught Ryan's eye. Oh no thought Ryan. You're not leaving me alone with her.  
  
"Where are you going Seth?"  
  
Seth stopped. Oh he so did not just do that.  
  
"Dude. I need to pee. You expect me to ignore the call of nature? Come on."  
  
Summer ignored both of them. "So how come you weren't in school Ryan?"  
  
Seth sprinted out of the kitchen leaving much to Ryan's dismay.  
  
"Are you feeling alright?" Summer asked him sweetly. Ryan sighed. Here we go  
  
He straightened. "I wasn't feeling well today. Must have been something I ate"  
  
"Oh really? Well I hope you're feeling well now because I'm having a party next week. It's gonna be like a pre birthday bash for Coop cause I know that she wants to spend her birthday with her dad. You should come", she stared at him pointedly, and "All of her friends should be there. She's been through a lot lately and I think she deserves this. Yeah?"  
  
Ryan swallowed. What the hell was she up to? "I don't know Summer. This stomach thing might not clear up too soon"  
  
Summer restrained from rolling her eyes and put on a smile.  
  
"Well I hope you come. Let me know ok?" She smiled once again and turned to leave then another thought occurred. "Don't tell Coop. I want this to be a surprise"  
  
Ryan stared after her. Whatever he thought let her have this party. Let all the spoiled brats of Newport get together and get drunk while apparently celebrating someone's birthday.  
  
Like that was different from his birthdays. Recalling back a couple of weeks ago Ryan and Marissa had discussed her birthday. He had already started planning. Her present had already been bought and stashed away in his bathroom. What am I going to do with it now? Sighing Ryan walked back into the living room and caught Summer and Seth in an embrace. He watched as Seth leaned forward and kissed Summer, hugged her then walked her to her car. Ryan felt his stomach move again. Somehow he knew that it just wasn't his sickness. He missed Marissa.  
  
"Dude are you okay? You look kinda lost just standing there" Seth walked back in and closed the door.  
  
"Yeah man. She's gone?"  
  
"Yeah. Have a nice chat?"  
  
Ryan didn't answer. He watched as Seth plugged in his controller. Ryan moved forward and picked up the spare controller. Seth glanced at him then back at the screen where the words Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 appeared. Both boys sat back against the couch and started playing.  
  
"Did she tell you about the party?"  
  
Seth looked away from the screen for a few moments then snapped his head back.  
  
"Party? What party?  
  
Ryan shook his head as Seth's player scored 200 pints for a grind. He should have known. Summer was just trying to interfere. Again.  
  
"For Marissa. Her birthday?"  
  
Seth nodded, "Oh right. Yeah. I was invited to her like eleventh birthday party and man her parents went all out. Why is she having a party now? She wasn't exactly sending her birthday vibes out to everyone."  
  
"It's a surprise," Ryan muttered dryly trying to ignore Seth's shout of victory as the words YOU LOSE flashed across his side of the screen.  
  
Seth nodded again as he started the game again. Ryan dropped his controller and sat back with his head against the couch as Seth launched into a recount of his 13th birthday and how his parents had surprised him with a mobile petting zoo.  
  
Birthdays. The word meant nothing to him.  
  
(FLASHBACK)  
  
Dawn Atwood looked up, her vision blurry as her sons ran into the living room.  
  
"Mom! MOM! I got a gold star in class today just because it was my birthday and –  
  
"Shut up Ry. She's drunk," Trey's anger was visible. He had listened to Ryan chatter about nothing but his birthday all day. And now here she was pissed out of her mind. They shouldn't even have had any expectations. Ryan looked up at his big brother not wanting to believe it. No.  
  
"No she's not Trey," his voice was breathless and full of hope. He waited watching his mother for a reply. For at least a small indication that he was right.  
  
Dawn shook her head and laughed.  
  
"It's your birthday kiddo?" Dawn laughed and reached for her pack of cigarettes. Trey looked in disgust at the fall of Ryan's face.  
  
"Well yeah mom. I'm twelve today.  
  
"Well of course you are. But what did you expect? Balloons? A clown? A band? A party?" she leaned over and ruffled his hair and Ryan backed away smelling the sour liquid on her breath. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes.  
  
"YOU PROMISED!" he shouted unable to hold the cascade of tears falling down his face, "Not on our birthdays. You said. You promised that you wouldn't do this on our birthdays. Not on our birthdays."  
  
"So what? I have problems in this life Ryan! You expect me to care for you and your brother while your father is probably out on his ass drunk somewhere?"  
  
"And how is that so different from you?" Trey spoke up his eyes unusually glassy.  
  
"That's all I get huh? Two ungrateful little bastards who just can't accept that life's not perfect" she leaned close to both of them and whispered, "well let me tell ya now. Life's not perfect. It never will be. You're gonna be stuck in this hell hole for the rest of your life"  
  
"DAWN!"  
  
Her head whipped around causing her vision to once again blur. Nick Atwood stepped into the house his eyes wide with fury.  
  
"What the hell is this? You take all our money for the week and spend it on booze?"  
  
Dawn sniffed. "Well what else is money for?"  
  
Nick stepped closer, "I'll tell you woman. This money was for food on the table for this family," he gestured at the two boys who still stood on the corner of the living room too afraid to move.  
  
"A FAMILY DAWN. It wasn't my choice to do this but now what do you want me to do? Steal? Rob a bank?"  
  
Dawn lit another cigarette. "Isn't that what you were doing before?"  
  
"You little bi-" He raised his hand to slap her as Ryan unfroze and ran to his mother.  
  
"MOMMY!"  
  
"Get outta the way you little piece of shit" His father pushed him into the dining table leaving him with a sore bruised hip. He slapped Dawn and turned to look at the miserable scene in front of me.  
  
"What kinda family I got huh?" Ignoring Ryan's screams of pain he walked towards the door.  
  
"No daddy. Don't leave!" Trey ran to the door and grabbed hold of his father's arm. Nick shook him off and Trey fell to the floor with a cry of hurt.  
  
(END OF FLASHBACK)  
  
Birthdays. Same as Christmas. He looked at Seth who was still mumbling to himself and fiddling with the controller. They had no idea just how good they had it. No idea at all.  
  
As a new door opens we close the ones behind  
  
Delta Goodrem – Not me Not I 


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again so much for the reviews! Please tell me what you think. You never know...I might put out a chapter faster if you review. Think about it.  
  
'Everything changes but beauty remains'  
  
A Moment like This – Kelly Clarkson  
  
Marissa Cooper straightened the maths paper and tried to focus. Trigonometry always made her frustrated. She had never understood it. She let out a sigh and leaned back on her chair surveying the library on Harbour. The normal studious few were in the library as were others. Marianne was one. Who would think that she of all people would come to the library? The girl's mind worked like Summer's. They could have passed for sisters. She waved a quick hello and Marianne went back to studying leaving Marissa bewildered. She was actually studying? Yawning she checked her cell for messages and looked around once more. Boring. Who would have thought Marissa Cooper would be stuck in the library on a Friday afternoon? Things had changed.  
  
Hearing some movement she turned and saw Ryan enter. Marianne looked up also and smiled at Ryan who smiled back. Marissa froze. What the hell? How did she know him? Ryan walked to a table and dropped his books. The sound made more people look up. Ryan caught Marissa's eye as he sat down. She smiled uncertainly at him. He forced a smile back and pulled out his trig homework. Pulling out his pen he glanced at Marissa who was chewing on her lip looking obviously confused and frustrated. Ryan looked away as he remembered the 'study' dates they had spent together. They had always ended up doing something other studying. Marissa hated maths. He remembered how he used to watch her when she used to bite her lip when she didn't understand a problem Or when something was wrong. A cell phone ring jerked him out of his thoughts.  
  
Marissa fumbled with that phone trying to ignore the glares that were sent her way for disturbing the silence. She walked outside and answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Coop? Where are you?"  
  
"Summer? I'm at the library. Why?"  
  
"The library? What for?"  
  
"For studying Sum. I have a ton of homework"  
  
"Whatever. Ok listen we have to go shopping"  
  
"No Summer we don't. I really have to get this stuff done"  
  
"What? Coop what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong Summer. I just have to do this."  
  
Summer was silent. When did Marissa ever give up the chance to go shopping? Since she broke up with Ryan. Summer waved away her thoughts.  
  
"Coop? If you wanna talk I'm here kay?"  
  
"Yeah of course. Have fun"  
  
She hung up before Summer could say anything. What was wrong with her? Marissa leaned over the railing inhaling the ocean air trying to clear her mind. Ever since she had broken up with Ryan she had thrown herself into her schoolwork. She hardly ever went out with Summer anymore. To say that her father was worried about her would be the understatement of the century. He had tried to take her out so many times but Marissa had shrugged off the suggestion saying she had homework.  
  
Life was so worthless. What was the point of doing anything when things were just going to get worse? Furiously wiping away a tear she turned her head to catch the breeze that tossed her hair across her face. Ryan had been her strength. She had given up so much for him and like everyone he had also abandoned her. She honestly didn't know why she was surprised. She should have known it was too good to be true. It had been her fault too. If only they could start over. She could show Ryan that she was secure in her life. That was the thing that scared her the most. Because she knew she wasn't secure at all. And without Ryan she didn't know how she was going to be.  
  
Not even bothering to stop the stream of tears flowing down her face Marissa hurried back and picked up her books and virtually sprinted out of the library. Starting the car she drove home and was relieved to find it empty. Dumping her stuff at the bottom of the stairs Marissa collapsed on her bed where for the first time after her split up she broke down. Her body shook with sobs. Great wracking sobs that felt that they would break her.  
  
Not for the first time on her life Marissa Cooper felt completely and utterly alone.  
  
I wonder how I ever made it through a day  
  
How did I settle for a world in shades of grey?  
  
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same  
  
And you don't know why  
  
Then I looked into your eyes and the world stretched out in front of me  
  
And I realised  
  
I never lived before your love  
  
I never felt before your touch  
  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
  
But then again  
  
I wasn't really living  
  
I never lived  
  
Before your love  
  
I wanted more than just an ordinary life  
  
All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky  
  
I stand before you when my heart is in your hands  
  
And I don't know how  
  
I survived without your kiss  
  
Cause you've given me a reason to exist  
  
I never lived before your love  
  
I never felt before your touch  
  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
  
But then again  
  
I wasn't really living  
  
I never lived  
  
Before your love  
  
I never lived before your love  
  
And I don't know why  
  
Why the sun decides to shine  
  
But you've breathed your love into me just in time  
  
I never lived before your love  
  
I never felt before your touch  
  
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive  
  
But then again  
  
I wasn't really living  
  
I never lived  
  
I never lived before your love  
  
Ryan watched as Marissa ran out of the library. What happened? He started to rise but as she rushed past him he sat back down. He felt like he was drowning in guilt. Was she crying because of him? He picked up his books and walked out of the library. He was almost out when he heard footsteps behind him.  
  
"RYAN!" He turned around and saw Marianne running to catch up with him.  
  
"Uh hey"  
  
He didn't know her very well but had talked to her a few times. She was friends with Summer and Marissa but that's all he pretty juch knew about her.  
  
"Hi," Marianne smiled, "Where are you going?"  
  
Ryan glanced at his car.  
  
"Uh I was gonna go home."  
  
Marianne was quiet for a while.  
  
"Don't go after her Ryan"  
  
Ryan sent her a confused look. What?  
  
Marianne shook her head. "I mean it. She doesn't need you to see her like she was. If you still care for her then don't ok?"  
  
Ryan didn't answer.  
  
"Ryan. I mean it."  
  
Ryan looked up. "Yeah. Alright."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
Ryan nodded and turned to go.  
  
Marianne smiled once more.  
  
"Thanks Ryan. Have a good weekend"  
  
"Yeah you too"  
  
He walked back to the car and threw his stuff in the passenger seat.  
  
Marianne's words kept repeating themselves in his head.  
  
She doesn't need you to see her like she was. If you still care for her then don't.  
  
He started the car and rested his hands on the wheel. He didn't know what to think. He had broken up with Marissa for a reason but he didn't know that it would have this kind of effect on her. Ryan reversed out of the car park and drove to the beach. He really needed to think. About everything.  
  
Before Your Love – Kelly Clarkson 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey sorry it took so long to update. My computer kept stuffing up. Thanks again for the reviews. Here's the new chapter. Enjoy.  
  
Seth knocked on Summer's door and waited. She opened the door and gave him a smile.  
  
"Hey! Come in."  
  
She moved and he entered. The Roberts house never failed to amaze him. You couldn't even call it a house. Although impressive it had a certain comfortable feel to it.  
  
"You're in on a Friday night?"  
  
Summer glared at him.  
  
"Well before you came along we all had lives Cohen"  
  
"And I was able to influence your lives oh so easily"  
  
"Call it influence. I call it sex"  
  
"Whoa! So you admit it. You are going out with me because of my body"  
  
Summer snorted as she led Seth to the living room.  
  
"No. I'm going out with you for your money. I thought we already cleared that up"  
  
"Well now we did," He turned to face her. "So what's this about Marissa's party?"  
  
"Oh that. I'm throwing Coop a party. Before her birthday"  
  
"Do you really think she's up for that? What about all that stuff about her losing it? Officially?"  
  
Summer shrugged, "She needs to be cheered up"  
  
"Ryan's onto you"  
  
"He is not"  
  
"You'd be surprised"  
  
Summer flopped down onto the couch and shook her head.  
  
"No he is not. I am way too good."  
  
Seth rolled eyes. "Way to be modest huh?"  
  
Summer rolled her eyes back at him and opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by the ringing of the phone. She picked up the phone and Seth busied himself with the TV.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Summer?"  
  
"Yeah. Is that you dad?"  
  
Seth looked up but Summer's back was facing him.  
  
"Yes. Listen I'm not going to be able to make it for the weekend. I got caught up in London with some -"  
  
"Business?" He tone was sarcastic but Ian Roberts either didn't notice or chose to ignore it.  
  
"Yes. Glad you understand"  
  
"Dad you and I were supposed to have dinner with the Wilkins on Saturday"  
  
"Summer I have to go. I'll have Samantha cancel it"  
  
"Dad but-"  
  
"We'll have dinner some other time ok? Pick anywhere in Europe. Done."  
  
"No dad-"  
  
"Alright bye"  
  
The phone went dead in her hand. Summer squeezed her eyes shut and tried to keep her breathing under control.  
  
"Summer? Everything ok?" Seth called over the noise of the TV.  
  
Summer dropped the phone and ran up the carpeted stairs to her room and closed the door. She slid down the back of the door and tried her best to stop her tears. Seth followed her and knocked on the door.  
  
"Summer? Summer what happened?"  
  
Summer covered her mouth to hide her sobs.  
  
"Summer come on it's me. Are you ok?"  
  
He turned the knob and pushed open the door. He realised she was sitting in front of it and winced when the door hit her thigh.  
  
"Summer?" he whispered crouching in front of her. This was freaking him out. Was she crying? She turned her head away to avoid his eyes.  
  
"Summer. What happened?" He gingerly reached out and rubbed her arm. She was shaking.  
  
She looked up. Her face was streaked with tears.  
  
Seth hid his surprise.  
  
"Hey c'mere" He sat down on the floor and pulled Summer into his arms. She crawled into his lap and rested her head on his chest her body shaking with sobs. He rubbed her back as she soaked his t shirt. They stayed in that position for what seemed like hours when Summer looked up and wiped her face.  
  
"If you tell anyone you saw me like this then I'll kill you" Seth smiled and hesitantly pushed some hair out of her face. She melted. "Well I'm glad you're ok. You are ok aren't you?"  
  
Summer hesitated. The guy had just seen her cry her lungs out. Would he understand? She reached up and ran her thumb over his lips and then stood up and moved to her dresser. That's what was different about Seth Cohen. He wasn't like the rest of the Newport population. She could trust him. Taking a deep breath she turned around. He was still sitting on the floor, watching her. She opened the drawer and pulled out a picture. Sitting down on her bed Summer patted the space next to her. He moved and she tried to relax. Taking another breath she passed the picture to him. "That's my mom"  
  
Seth took the frame from her and resisted asking what this had to do with anything.  
  
"She's beautiful. I can see the resemblance"  
  
Summer felt like he was going to burst into tears again.  
  
"My parents got divorced when I was 7"  
  
Seth nodded. "I remember. You stayed home that day"  
  
Summer glanced up then shook her head.  
  
"That was the day when my mom left. She left in the night. I didn't have any idea. She kissed me goodnight and turned off the light. It was like every night. When I woke up she was gone"  
  
Seth turned to look at her and his heart almost broke when teras dropped down Summer's cheeks. Using the pad of his thumb he wiped them away.  
  
"Don't cry," he whispered.  
  
Summer gulped. She needed air. Pulling away from Seth she walked over to the large balcony. Seth came up behind her unsure of what to do. "Everyone loved my mom. She was like this ray of sun on a crap, ugly day. I don't know why she left. I thought it was because of me"  
  
She shrugged as tears threatened to spill again.  
  
"I don't think she really wanted me. Melanie Andrews told me in fifth grade that her mom said I was a mistake"  
  
"You're not a mistake Summer" Seth moved forward and grabbed her hand. He had never been in this situation before. But he wanted Summer to trust him. He felt like he was crying inside. He hated seeing her like this.  
  
Summer shook her head.  
  
"When my parents got divorced my dad just started working all the time. There was this time when I hated Coop cause she had a better family than me. My grandparents didn't want me. But everyone at school liked me cause I had a big house and no parents"  
  
Summer paused. She couldn't even remember Seth in junior high.  
  
"Maybe if I had a mom I wouldn't be such a bitch"  
  
"I love bitches" Seth whispered kissing her forehead and placing his arms around her.  
  
He didn't know where the words were coming from but all the affection came so naturally that Seth didn't even try to stop it. Anything to make Summer feel better.  
  
Summer gave him a half hearted smile before burying her head in the crook of his neck. Seth kissed the top of her head.  
  
"Is this why you can't sleep at night?"  
  
Summer didn't reply. When she did her voice was muffled against his chest.  
  
"I hate being alone. I hate this house because there's no one here. It's freezing and it's scary" the last word were whispered.  
  
Seth glanced down and saw that her eyes were closed.  
  
"It's kind of cold out here too. Why don't you go inside and get ready for bed? I'll be right back. Ok?"  
  
"Are you gonna leave?"  
  
"No Summer" he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth.  
  
"I'll be right back"  
  
Seth ran down the stairs and grabbed his cell from the kitchen counter where he had left it. Checking it he groaned when he saw the message '6 missed calls'. He called Ryan's cell but Ryan didn't pick up. He called home and was relieved to hear Ryan's voice on the other end.  
  
"Seth?"  
  
"Yeah. Listen could you do me a favour?"  
  
"Where have you been? You're mom's been going nuts. Another hour and they were gonna call the police"  
  
"Ok. I'm at Summer's and she's not feeling well so could you tell mom and dad that I'm staying the night?"  
  
"I can't do that Seth"  
  
Kirsten walked into the living room just in time to hear Ryan's last words.  
  
"Is that Seth? Oh thank goodness. Ryan give me the phone"  
  
Ryan handed the receiver to Kirsten and she put the phone to her ear to hear Seth say, "Come on man. Just do it. We're brothers. I owe you after this"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Seth honey we were so worried! Where are you?"  
  
"Well great mom you don't sound mad so I think we should discuss this when I get home"  
  
Kirsten nodded, "Yes I agree. Do you want us to pick you up? Where are you?"  
  
Seth laughed nervously, "Well I'm at Summer's and she's not feeling to good right now so I was planning on staying with her because of her uh sickness and all. But I'd just stay with her so she won't throw up or anything and-"  
  
"Seth I don't see this as a time for you to be making jokes. We have been worried out of our minds and now you ask if you can stay the night at your girlfriend's house. I am not stupid Seth-"  
  
"How much do you know about Summer's mom?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Well you would know wouldn't you? All the newpsies would"  
  
"What does this have to do with you Seth?"  
  
" Well...I just heard about Summer's mom and she's not feeling that great about it...I don't think she really needs to be alone right now"  
  
Kirsten was silent. Of course she knew what happened with Nicole Roberts. Everyone knew. The poor girl. Now Seth knew? He'd want answers as soon as he got home.  
  
"Seth...we'll talk in the morning. After you get home"  
  
Seth punched his fist into the air.  
  
"Ok great. Thanks mom. Love you"  
  
"Love you too Seth. Be careful ok?"  
  
"Yeah sure"  
  
He hung up then walked up the stairs and saw Summer sitting on the bed in her pyjamas looking out of the huge window on the wall.  
  
"Sum?"  
  
She turned.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Seth spoke suddenly nervous. It didn't seem like such a good idea now.  
  
"Do you want me to stay with you? For tonight"  
  
Summer nodded, brushing some hair out of her face. She couldn't believe what she'd done tonight. She'd cried in front of a guy. Not just any guy but the sweetest guy on the planet. She watched as he moved the sheets back and Summer crawled into the bed and waited as Seth removed his shoes and slid in beside her. She moved and rested her head on his chest hearing the firm beat of his heart. Seth lazily rubbed her back and Summer felt herself getting sleepy. She felt drained. Hopefully she didn't look like crap. Strangely enough this didn't feel weird at all. She had always thought it would but Seth seemed so comfortable with the whole matter so she didn't say anything. Closing her eyes they both lay in silence, unspoken words of comfort shared between them.  
  
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart  
  
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark  
  
Try as I may I can never explain  
  
What I hear when you don't say a thing  
  
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall  
  
You say it best when you say nothing at all  
  
All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
  
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd  
  
Try as they may they could never define  
  
What's been said between your heart and mine  
  
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall  
  
You say it best When you say noting at all  
  
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall  
  
You say it best when you say nothing at all  
  
That night for the first time in many years Summer actually went to sleep.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********  
  
Summer stretched and yawned. Opening her eyes she looked out the window and the memories of last night came back to her. Rolling over she realised Seth wasn't there. Her heart stopped. He's gone. Oh my God.  
  
Running down the stairs she stopped as she reached the kitchen. He had made breakfast for her. She grinned.  
  
"You made me breakfast?"  
  
Seth looked up. "Morning. How'd you sleep?" S ummer smiled again. "Great. You made me breakfast?"  
  
Seth nodded. "Yep. Pancakes, eggs, toast and I picked up some muffins form the bakery," he gestured towards the table.  
  
Summer walked over to him and kissed him softly then looked at the table in amazement.  
  
"I can't believe you made me breakfast. No one's ever made me breakfast before. Not even the housekeepers"  
  
"Well then eat up princess"  
  
Summer smiled. She had never smiled as much until she had started going out with Seth. She thought he'd be just another boyfriend. He was so different from anyone he knew.  
  
"So listen. Do you wanna come back to my house with me?"  
  
Summer stopped eating. "Why?"  
  
"Well...I gotta have a shower and stuff and then we'll go out or something"  
  
"I'll go get changed"  
  
Looking back at the table she grinned once more. He made me breakfast.  
  
That's it. Review please!!!!!! Oh and by the way does anyone know how to post in italics? Coz it never works. 


	5. Chapter 5

Well here's the next chapter. If I feel like it then I'll put chapter 6 up too. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Especially for saying that you like the songs that I choose. Thank you! This chapter is more directed towards Ryan and Marissa. So read! Oh and by the way the song that I used in my last chapter was Ronan Keating's 'When you say nothing at all' Ok! I just forgot to mention that

Marissa woke up in a bed of tissues. She looked around blearily and jumped when the phone rang. Sighing she stood up but sat down quickly when her head started throbbing. Rubbing her head she reached for the phone and closed her eyes.

" Ugh. Hello?"

"Marissa it's dad"

"Oh"

"Yeah. I was working late last night and I fell asleep. I'm not coming home for breakfast and I thought you should know. In case you got worried"

Marissa nodded not even paying attention to what her dad was saying.

"Marissa?"

Marissa remembered that he couldn't see her.

"Yep"

"Honey are you ok?"

Marissa nodded again.

"Yep"

"Alright. It's Saturday. Maybe you and Summer are going shopping today?"

"I have to study"

"Oh. Well ok. I'll see you when I get back ok?"

"Yep"

The phone went dead and Marissa slumped down on her bed and groaned. She probably looked like hell right now. Rolling over she dialled Summer's number and winced when she heard the rings. Disappointed that she didn't answer, Marissa dialled Seth's number, thinking that if Summer wasn't at home then she would be at Seth's.

"Hello?"

Marissa swallowed. Of course Ryan would answer the phone. He lived there.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

"Um yeah. It's Marissa"

"Oh" Why was Marissa calling here? Did she want to talk to him? He looked at the phone nervously.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah. Uh How are you?"

Ryan was relieved. Nothing serious.

"Good. I'm good. You?"

"Yeah" She paused. _Had he seen her run out of the library yesterday?_

"So uh did you get all that homework done?"

"Well you know me and maths aren't friends so no not really"

"Yeah Mr Harmon kind of overdid the homework"

"He always does"

Ryan nodded and then there it was. 

The awkward pause.

"So uh you sure everything's ok?"

_Was this his way of finding out if she was crying over him?_

Marissa nodded.

"Yeah. Totally" This wasn't a subject she wanted to talk about now. And not to him.

"Um I was just wondering if Summer was there? At your place?"

"No. Actually Seth stayed the night at her place because she wasn't feeling well.

"She's not feeling well?"

"Yeah I think there's something going around"

"So is that why you weren't at school?"

S_o she noticed?_

"Yeah. It was a stomach bug. I think"

"Oh. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Everything's fine now"

"Ok good. Um so ok. I'll try Summer's cell"

"Ok um. If you need anything…"

"I'll be fine thanks"

"OK. Bye"

"Yeah"

Ryan hung up and let out the breath he didn't even know he'd been holding.

"Bye," Marissa whispered, tears once more filling her eyes. Catching her reflection in the mirror Marissa stared. What the hell had she become? Her eyes stood out like two blue pools amongst the paleness that was her skin. Her nose was red and her lips were pale.

"If only my mom could see me now," Marissa muttered sardonically as she slumped face down onto her bed trying to ease her nausea. Marissa ran to the bathroom as another wave of queasiness washed over her. Vomiting into the toilet, Marissa held her hair back and then reached over to flush. Resting her head against the cool porcelain she felt as if she didn't even have the strength to cry anymore.

"I want my mom"

The words were whispered but meant. She closed her eyes and listened to the soft swirling of the water and wished she could she could be fish and swim away from all the troubles in her life.

_Blue_

_I'm getting kinda close to you_

_Like a shadow I can't lose_

_Hey_

_You've been hanging with me everyday_

_Now you're getting in my way_

_I know you understand me_

_But don't you think that maybe_

_It's time to move on_

_What's up lonely?_

_Seems you're my only friend_

_Who wants to share my pain_

_Tell me heartache_

_What's it gonna take_

_For you to leave me alone today_

_Just when I think that you're gone_

_You're in the mirror looking back at me  _

_So what's up lonely?_

_Sometimes_

_I wish you weren't by my side_

_Can't you find another shoulder _

_Cause I_

_I wanna leave this broken heart behind_

_We're both wastin too much time_

_Find someone else to rain on_

_I'm really getting tired of singing this sad song_

_What's up lonely?_

_Seems you're my only friend_

_Who wants to share my pain_

_Tell me heartache_

_What's it gonna take_

_For you to leave me alone today_

_Just when I think that you're gone_

_You're in the mirror looking back at me  _

_So what's up lonely?_

_Don't wanna give you a reason_

_To hang around anymore_

_You won't be hurting my feelings_

_If you find another broken heart_

_You can lean on_

_What's up lonely?_

_Seems you're my only friend_

_Who wants to share my pain_

_Tell me heartache_

_What's it gonna take_

_For you to leave me alone today_

_Just when I think that you're gone_

_You're in the mirror looking back at me  _

_So what's up lonely?_

_Just leave me alone_

************************************************************************************

Ryan stared at the phone after he hung up. She sounded really sick. Should he go over there? Walking out of the pool house he walked into the kitchen and was surprised to hear voices in the living room. A quick glance showed him that Seth was in there with Summer and Kirsten. Ryan was confused. Why was Kirsten talking to both of them? He was still trying to work it out when Sandy walked into the kitchen.

"Morning"

"Morning," Ryan replied, his eyes still on the scene in the living room.

Sandy took some juice and put it on the counter and noticed that Ryan wasn't even watching him.

"Watcha looking at?"

 Ryan shook his head.

"I don't know"

Sandy nodded and they both stood watching the scene in front of them.

"I'll find out," Sandy assured Ryan and then went on with preparing his breakfast.

Ryan nodded and then hesitantly asked, "Do you think I could borrow the car for a few hours?"

Sandy looked up then nodded.

"I don't see why not. We should talk about getting you your own car"

"Uh no. No it's ok. Really. I'll bring the car back soon ok?"

"Yeah sure. Where are you going?"

"Um just around. Gotta pick up some stuff"

"Ok"

"Great. Thanks," Ryan grabbed the keys and ran out the back door, careful not to disturb Kirsten, Seth and Summer.

Starting the car Ryan carefully reversed down the driveway and sped off in the direction of Marissa's house.

_Got to make a little room for me to breathe_

_Got a feeling that you're about to pull me in too deep_

_The more I try to walk away_

_The harder it gets to believe that I don't need you_

_You got a hold on me _

_There's no escaping baby_

_Got to find the release_

_Why do I feel do weak_

_When you are near me_

_You got me in too deep_

_So help me baby_

_You're living in my dreams_

_You're always with me_

_You're the dark in my light_

_You're the black in my white_

_And I'll always know _

_You got me where you want me_

And that's it! Review!


	6. Chapter 6

I decided to post this chapter too. Hope you like it. Oh and because I keep forgetting, the songs in the last chapter were What's up Lonely by Kelly Clarkson and Where you want me by Blue. Now read… 

"Hello?" Seth walked into the house with Summer following him. She loved his house. It was so warm and welcoming. Very unlike some of the houses in Newport.

"Seth!" his mother rushed into the room and embraced him. Seth patted her awkwardly on the back.

"Well uh hey mom. I didn't miss you that much"

"Sorry sweetie" She pulled away. She moved forward to hug Summer who gladly accepted, touched by the gesture.

"You two both ok?"

"Yes mom we're fine. I'm gonna shower. I'll be right back" Seth walked to his room hoping that Summer and his mother would be fine alone.

"Come in Summer. Have you had breakfast?"

Summer smiled. Kirsten was _so_ nice. It was so hard not to like her. 

"Yeah I have actually. Seth made me breakfast"

Kirsten looked surprised as they both made their way to the kitchen.

"Seth made you breakfast?"

Summer nodded as she took a seat. "Eggs and everything"

Kirsten smiled as she took a sip of her coffee. "He's just like his father. There was this one time when I was pregnant with Seth and I was so sick of being fat. He surprised me with dinner and everything supposedly was fat reduced. We ended up pigging out on ice cream after"

Summer smiled again feeling a little pang in her heart. What had her parents been like before she was born?

Kirsten put her cup down noticing the withdrawn look on Summer's face.

"So how are you feeling?"

Summer looked up from the countertop, surprised by the concern.

"Uh I'm ok. I guess"

"If you want to talk…" Kirsten looked at her questioningly.

Summer shook her head.

"I want to show you something"

Kirsten walked out of the kitchen. Summer followed her and found Kirsten picking up a photo album.

"Sit" she said patting the space next to her.

Summer sat down wondering what Kirsten was going to show her. Kirsten opened the album and there was a photo of a young Kirsten and Sandy laughing together. Kirsten was sitting on Sandy's lap. The looked so happy.

Summer smiled politely wondering why the hell she was showing her this.

"Don't worry about this one. For Seth this is blackmail material. He always has something to make fun of in this one"

She turned the page to a photo where Kirsten was standing next to a girl her age. It looked remarkably like the picture she had of her mother.

"Is that…"

"It's your mother. That's her in the picture"

Summer felt her heart stop for the second time that morning.

"That's my mom? You knew her?"

Kirsten nodded her eyes still on the photo.

"We were friends in Berkley. She was the one who set Sandy and me up in the first place"

Summer looked at her in revelation. They were friends?

Kirsten looked up as Seth walked into the living room, his hair still damp from the shower. He flopped down onto the couch and put his arm around Summer.

"What are we looking at? Oh the stone age pictures. Mom. Are you sure you want to show these to Summer? She might have a heart attack. Your clothes were _so_ not in fashion then"  

"Seth you're mom knew my mom"

Seth looked over at his mom.

"You knew Summer's mom? How come you never told?"

Kirsten watched as Summer flipped the pages of the album, mesmerised and completely oblivious to the conversation that Seth and his mother were having.

"It never came up Seth"

"Even when we started going out?"

Kirsten took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you but it just never seemed like a good time"

"I think now seems like a good time"

Summer looked up from the pictures. The look in the girl's eyes softened her. Summer looked like the little innocent girl she was.

Kirsten nodded. "Ok"

She moved closer to Summer and flipped back to the first picture that Summer had seen.

"I met Nicole at Berkley in my second year. She was one of those people that everyone liked. She knew everyone but she was very private about her past. I wasn't like her. I was more into studying and she wanted to go partying every night" 

Here Kirsten paused and waited for Seth to make a smart remark about her being a nerd. Surprisingly he said nothing so she continued.

"Nicole set Sandy and me up because she thought that someone completely opposite to me would help me go out more. Sandy and I hit off and that left her alone. As popular and beautiful as she was, she still hadn't found a guy yet. I got the idea that I would set her up with Ian even though you could say that he wasn't her type"

Seth interrupted, "So you being the blonde that you were thought the same thing would happen that happened between you and dad"

Kirsten ignored him and went on. 

" Your mom and dad surprised everyone by announcing their engagement in our senior year at Berkley. I was at their wedding. It was so beautiful."

Summer kept her eyes on the picture trying hard not to cry. _Oh God. Maybe I'm just like PMSing. That's why I'm being such a baby._

"Your dad never really got along with Sandy. Ian was one of those typical frat boys. Sandy wasn't. But somehow Ian convinced Sandy that we should get married. We did and then we had Seth. Summer, you were born a few months later. No one had ever seen Nicole that happy. She looked as if she was walking on clouds everyday"

"Your dad however was spending more and more time overseas. Nicole and your father started having little arguments. Your mom was working and your dad was never around. No one ever wanted to say 'I told you so' but it was bound to happen. Their marriage just never worked. It seemed that Ian was scared of a family. Your mom couldn't handle work, you and her relationship. No one knew that she would run away. Sandy and I wanted to help. But Nicole wasn't one to ask for help"

"Sounds like someone else I know," Seth muttered.

Summer slapped him on the knee while still watching Kirsten.

"I contacted your mom a few times after she left. One way or another she assured me that her 'break' wasn't my fault. She said that she was just taking a quick vacation and that she'd get back to her life soon. Months passed. We didn't talk as much and I lost track of the places she went to. She was running away from something but I don't know what. All I can say is that she loved you Summer. When you were born she told me that she wished that her life could be this great everyday"

Kirsten paused and studied Summer. Had she said too much?

She reached out and touched her knee

"Are you ok?"

Summer shook her head as tears started pouring down her face.

_Oh my GOD! What the hell is wrong with me? I cry in front of one person and now I cry in front of everyone?_

"I have to go," She managed to choke out and ran towards the front door. After giving his mother a quick, worried glance Seth ran out after her, closing the door behind him.

Kirsten stood and watched as her son ran to the door. Great. She had said too much. Sandy walked out of the kitchen.

"What just happened?"

Kirsten didn't reply. She just kept watching the front door.

"Kirsten?"

"Summer wanted to know about her mother. And I told her"

"About Nicole?"

Kirsten nodded and turned to face him.

"I feel like it's my fault"

"It's not your fault Kirsten. You know that"

Kirsten nodded and crossed her arms. Sandy moved forward and enveloped his wife in a hug. She accepted the embrace and gave in to her own need of comfort.

"I love you"

"I know," Sandy murmured kissing her shoulder.

She moved back and closed her eyes as Sandy kissed her softly on the forehead.

"You ok?"

Kirsten nodded.

"I will be. Where's Ryan?"

"He went out. Somewhere"

"You didn't ask where he was going?"

"I don't think he wanted to tell me"

Kirsten pursed her lips.

"You should have asked"

"I know. I did. I think he went to Marissa's. Unless he's got another girl that we don't know about"

"Seth would know"

"Yeah but I don't think you're gonna get time to ask" Sandy gestured to the window where Seth was comforting Summer.

"It's weird seeing Seth being mature"

Kirsten laughed.

"What?"

"Well I just never thought that he'd get Summer in the first place. And now when she's being sensitive I'm just surprised he can handle it"

"Well way to be an encouraging father"

 "I am! All those times when I pointed out Summer so he could talk to her. And I gave him pointers. Besides. Summer thinks I'm cool"

"For your information all those times when you pointed out Summer you were embarrassing the life out of your son. And Summer does not think you're cool. You think you're cool"

"I'm a cool dad"

Kirsten shook her head and glanced towards the doorway again.

"I hope she's ok"

"She'll be fine. I can give Seth some pointers on how to handle over emotional women who are sick of their overbearing fathers"

Kirsten smacked Sandy on the arm.

"I was not over emotional and Summer's father is anything but overbearing. Especially to her. And I'm afraid those pointers would go to waste dear. He's been ignoring your advice"

"He has not. How do you think he ended up with the girl?"

"Ryan" 

"Ryan?"

Kirsten nodded.

"The whole time he was taking guidance from Ryan"

"No he wasn't! I was helping him. I was being encouraging and…" he trailed off. Come to think of it Seth had never actually done what he had told him to do.

"It's ok honey. I don't think you're a failure"

"Who said I was a failure?"

Kirsten shrugged a small smile playing around her lips.

"I don't know. Maybe you should stop being so _overbearing_"

Sandy pushed her slightly.

"Alright you win"

"I always win"

"Not always"

"Always"

"Hardly"

Kirsten leaned close to Sandy so that his lips were a few centimetres from her own.

"I always win and you know it"

Sandy closed the space between them and kissed his wife gently.

"I should take you out to dinner"

Kirsten pulled away from him and smirked. 

"Yes we do need some time alone"

"Well then it's settled. I'll make arrangements"

Sandy had begun to walk away when Kirsten called out to him.

"Oh and Sandy?"

He turned.

She smiled.

"I win"

He smiled wryly and walked away.

Being the only woman in the house had its advantages.

I wanted to finish the chapter on a lighthearted note. More about what Ryan does and what Summer says to Seth in the next chapter. In the meantime review please! Oh and tell me where you think this is going and what you would like to happen. And I'll see what I can do…


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry I took so long to post again. Thanks for waiting. If more of you review then I'll put the next chapter out faster…

_This place was never the same again after you came and went   
how can you say you meant anything different   
To anyone standing alone on the street   
With a cigarette on the first night we met   
  
  
_

_Look to the past and remember her smile   
And maybe tonight I can breathe for awhile   
I'm not in the scene I think I'm falling asleep   
But then all that it means is I'll always be dreaming of you_

_Feeling This – Blink 182_

Marissa stumbled out of the bathroom and knocked on her sister's door. No one answered. She knocked again. Caitlyn appeared on the other side looking pissed.

"What?"

Marissa winced at her tone.

"Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were up. Oh and dad's at work so he's not coming home for breakfast"

Caitlyn leaned against the doorway and stared at her suspiciously.

"Are you ok? You look like you've been crying"

"I'm fine Caitlyn"

Marissa turned to leave but pivoted around again.

"If anyone calls and it's for me then can you like not disturb me? I wanna sleep. Please?"

"What if someone's at the door?"

"Same"

She knew Caitlyn was mad at her and the truth was she knew why. They had already moved into her dad's apartment last week and Kaitlin had slammed the door and demanded that everyone leave her alone. Marissa and her dad had done as she asked but it wasn't as if they didn't care. Her sister wasn't dealing too well with everything. And it seemed as if her dad would rather just ignore it and hope that his daughters would grow up while his back was turned. 

Marissa just walked away and headed to the shower. She emerged a few minutes later not feeling better at all. The smell of food almost sent Marissa to the bathroom again but she managed to hold it down and locked herself in her room. She heard the doorbell ring but ignored it. Hopefully Caitlyn would do as she asked. Looking at the mess that crowded her room she began work on making the room liveable.

***************************************************************************

Ryan rang the doorbell and glanced around. _The apartment wasn't too bad._ He gazed in front of him at the door which seemed to have a hundred patterns running through the wood. He was so immersed in the door it took him by complete surprise when Marissa's sister opened the door and glared at him.

"What?"

"Uh hey. I was just-"

"Marissa's not here"

"I just talked to her on the phone"

Caitlyn sighed. _Well_ _that was stupid._

"Well she said she didn't want to be disturbed"

"Is she sick?"

"I don't know"

"Well can I talk to her then?"

"Yeah sure and if she gets all mad at you then say that the ghost who haunts this place let you in. Ok?"

She walked away leaving Ryan wondering what he had said or done to annoy her.

He walked in and closed the door behind him. The kitchen was a cluttered with things that hadn't been unpacked yet and the sink was full of dishes. Hearing a door slam Ryan looked up and was once again confused as to why Caitlyn was so angry. Glancing around Ryan made his way to where he's heard the door slam and looked around. He could hear music coming from a room and recognised music that Seth usually listened to. Knocking on the door he called out. 

"Marissa?"

He knocked again wondering if she had heard him or not. 

"Caitlyn I told you I didn't want to be disturbed and I meant – oh"

Ryan took her in. She seemed more relaxed than he'd ever seen her yet she looked tense. Probably wondering why he was here. He wasn't so sure himself.

"Hey"

"Um. Hi. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah everything's fine. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. You sounded sick on the phone"

Nice Atwood. Real nice. Of course that's why he was here. 

"I'm fine. Thanks for coming over though"

"Uh ok. Great."

Marissa just stood there smiling uncertainly at him.

"Do you want help with the maths homework?" He blurted out.

Marissa seemed surprised. 

"Um. Yeah sure. I'll be right back"

She disappeared into her room and came back with her books.

"C'mon. My room isn't even considered a living space right now"

He followed her into the living room and took in his surroundings. Compared to the places in Chino this apartment could pass off for a castle. Once again he found himself thinking how Marissa was living with all this. He wished he could talk to her but things seemed so awkward between them that he didn't know how to start.

"So how is everything? Here I mean?"

Marissa looked up, startled that he asked her that question. Of all questions.

"Um not too bad. Caitlyn isn't loving it though. She like hasn't talked to me or my dad since we moved here"

She glanced around.

"I guess I'm not used to it. But it's ok"

Ryan nodded as they took a seat in the kitchen.

"So what don't you get?"

Marissa laughed.

"Like the whole second side of the revision sheet"

Ryan nodded again.

"I thought it was pretty bad too. It took a while for me to concentrate since Seth was practically blasting music in my ears the whole time" 

Marissa smiled and rolled her eyes.

"I can imagine"

He watched as she chewed on her lip.

"Ok. So this is what I don't get. How is this supposed to end up as 6 when _x_ doesn't even equal 12?"

Ryan was too busy staring at Marissa as she spoke and didn't even hear a word she said. He then realised she was waiting for him to say something.

"Um…say it again?"

Marissa gave him a curious look and then she mentally slapped herself.

"Did you want a drink?"

Ryan looked up as she waited expectantly.

"Uh sure. Anything's fine"

Marissa nodded and poured two glasses of coke and brought them back to where they were working.

"Thanks"

"So explain this problem to me"

Ryan grinned. 

"Yeah sure"

He bent down to get a closer look at the paper and caught a whiff of Marissa's shampoo. The smell went straight down to his stomach and turned the butterflies in there into massive flapping eagles.

_Why had he decided to do this again? _

***************************************************************************

"Summer stop crying. You're gonna make yourself throw up. Summer come on"

Seth tried to rub Summer's back as she soaked his t shirt again. She couldn't control her sobs. And it didn't help that Seth was being really sweet about it. She didn't even know why she was crying this much anyway. But she had kept this inside her for so long that she didn't even know how to stop it coming out. Summer moved away from him and Seth looked at her with genuine worry in his eyes.

"Just take me to Coop's"

Seth kept looking at her, worried.

"Are you sure? Because I-"

"I wanna go to Coop's"

Seth nodded. He didn't know what was worse. A pissed Summer or a crying Summer.

Checking his pocket Seth realised that he still had his mom's keys. She wouldn't mind if he borrowed the car. Without asking. Summer had already settled herself in the passenger side so Seth got in as well. Seth shrugged and started the car and reversed slowly down the driveway. Hoping and praying really hard that his parents hadn't heard him.

***************************************************************************

Marissa shifted and tried to concentrate on the television screen. She and Ryan had ditched the maths homework because it was giving Marissa a headache. Now she couldn't even hear what the people on screen were saying because all she could feel was the heat radiating from Ryan's body. She glanced at Ryan just in time to see the guy say something funny and Ryan grinned. She took a deep breath and diverted her attention to the screen.

"So you like this movie?"  
Ryan turned to look at her but Marissa was staring pointedly at the movie.

"Yeah. I do actually. I never realised how old it was"

Now Marissa twisted her head to see him.

"Why not? This movie is like so old"

"Yeah but I haven't seen it for ages. The first time I saw it was when Trey and I snuck out and went to see it with his girlfriend. I think I was 7"

He stopped and realised that this was probably the first time that he had opened up to Marissa. Marissa seemed to have realised the same thing because she was staring at him in a way that made his whole body feel warm.

"That's really cool"

Marissa's voice was hoarse and she was still watching him.

Ryan nodded and looked at the screen and then back at Marissa. She was so close. He moved forward then hesitantly pressed his lips against hers. He heard her gasp of surprise and her eyes fluttered shut on their own accord. Marissa responded at first a little cautiously and threaded her hand into his hair, her nails pricking the back of his neck sending shivers through his body. Her mouth was warm against his and somehow his tongue found hers and a moan escaped. Neither knew where it came from. 

The doorbell rang and Marissa pushed away from Ryan in total confusion.

"Marissa-" he began but was cut off by the doorbell again.

Marissa practically leapt from the couch and ran to answer the door and was totally surprised to see Seth and a tearful Summer on the other side.

"Summer what's wrong?"

Summer just pushed her way into the house and put a bag filled with something on the counter.

"Get out Chino"

Ryan stood and slowly walked towards the door. Summer pushed him into Seth and slammed the door shut. She turned to face Marissa and nearly broke down into tears again.

"I told Seth about my mom"

"What?"

Summer nodded and Marissa moved forward to hug her friend. 

"It's ok Sum. You can stay with me. We can have ice cream and watch stupid movies"

Summer nodded again. "I bought ice cream," she said gesturing to the counter. Caitlyn, hearing the noise, walked into the kitchen. Seeing Summer she warily greeted her.

"Hey Summer"

Summer looked at her then back at Marissa who was now taking spoons and another carton of ice cream out of the freezer.

"Catie, me and Summer are gonna hang out for a while ok?

Caitlyn nodded and turned to go back to her room.

Summer grabbed one of the cartons and made her way to the TV where the old movie that Ryan and Marissa were watching.

"What is this crap?" Summer turned the movie off and went through the video collection. A few minutes later she inserted A Walk to Remember into the VCR.

Marissa followed and opened her carton of ice cream and settled herself on the couch next to Summer. It had been a while since they had done this. Both had been too caught up in their own problems. She glanced at Summer whose face was still tear streaked and was watching the opening scenes intently. She knew that when Summer wanted to talk she would. And her kiss with Ryan could wait. Right now all that mattered was forgetting about it and ignoring everything and everyone for a few hours. Or more.

"I hate Mandy Moore" Summer's voice shattered Marissa's thoughts.

"Shane West is way too hot for her," She continued. 

Marissa nodded and stared at the ice cream in front of her. It had been so long since she had eaten properly.

"Here's to sucky lives," Marissa declared raising her carton.

"Amen sister," Summer grinned and they both clinked cartons and Marissa filled her mouth with chocolate.

They watched the movie in silence until Marissa spoke.

"Life's a bitch"

Summer didn't reply for a few moments.

"So is Mandy Moore"

Review please!


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